Archive for June, 2007

 

1:
Can  you cry under water?

 

2.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just
murdered? 

 

3: Why do you
have to "put your two cents in"….¬† but it’s only a "penny for your
thoughts"? 
Where’s that extra penny going
to?

 

4: Once you’re in
heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for
eternity?

 

5: Why does a
round pizza come in a square box? 

 

6:
What disease did cured ham actually
have?

 

7: How is it that
we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to
put wheels on luggage?

 

8: Why is it that
people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two
hours?

 

9: If a deaf
person has to go to court, is it still called a
Hearing?

 

10: Why are you
IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

 

11: Why do people
pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at
things on the ground?

 

12: Why do
doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked
anyway.

 

13: Why is "bra"
singular and "panties" plural?

 

14: Why do
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

 

15:Can a hearse
carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane?

 

16: If the
professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a
radio out of a coconut,why can’t he fix a hole in a
boat?

 

17: Why does
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both
dogs!

 

18:
If  Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk,
why didn’t he¬†just buy dinner?

 

19: If
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

 

20: Do the
Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune? 

 

21: Why did you
just try singing the two songs
above? 

 

22: Did you ever
notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when
you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?

 

23: Do you ever
wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the
first  place?

 

 "Smile,  It will
improve your face value"

 

You all hummed
the¬†¬†alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle…Admit
it

 

 

 

 

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Peace,
Matt

Fw: I’m In the 93%

Posted: June 14, 2007 in Uncategorized
The Duck
& the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents
on their farm.
He was
given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

He practiced in the woods; but he could
never hit the target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.

As he was walking
back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot
fly, hit the duck square in
the head and killed it. He was shocked and
grieved!
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see
his
sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After
lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let’s w ash the dishes"
But Sally
said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen."
Then she
whispered to him, "Remember the duck?"

So Johnny did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa
asked if the children wanted to go fishing and
Grandma said, "I’m sorry but I
need Sally to help make supper."
Sally just smiled and s aid, "Well that’s
all right because Johnny told
me he wanted to help" She whispered again,
"Remember the duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After
several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s; he
finally couldn’t
stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the
duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You
see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing,

but because I love
you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a
slave of you."
Thought for the day and every day
thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done…

And the devil keeps
throwing it up in your face

(lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger,
bitterness, etc.) …whatever it is…You need to know that
God was standing
at the window and He saw the whole thing.

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that

He loves you and
that you are forgiven.
He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil

make a slave of
you.
The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness;

He not only
forgives you, but He forgets.

It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are
saved.

Go ahead
and make the difference in someone’s life today.

Share this with a friend and always
remember:

God is at
the window!

When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!

If you are one of
the 93 % who will stand up for him

forward this w/ the title, "I’m in the 93%"
Would you
believe 7% of people won’t forward this?

Fw: E-mail From God…

Posted: June 6, 2007 in Uncategorized
 
About two weeks ago,
God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the
repulsive behavior that was
going on.
So God called one of
the angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told
God,
"Yes, it is bad on
Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God was not pleased.
So He decided to
e-mail the 5% who were being good because he wanted to encourage
them…
give them a little something to help them keep going.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Do you know what the
e-mail said?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Okay, just wondering.
I didn’t get one either.

JUNE

Posted: June 1, 2007 in Uncategorized
Hey. I woke up this morning and realized it was june. That means there is only about 17 days of school left.¬† I can’t wait. We are going to Family Camp next week at Camp Sagitawa with the church. Can’t wait for that either. Anyway G2g for now, Bue.
 
or , i think that’s it for my sites.